Justin Bieber’s performance of “Crazy Train” on last night’s Lip Sync Battle must have Ozzy Osbourne spinning in his grave. We know he’s not dead, but he seems like the type who would take catnaps in a coffin because he’s the Prince of F-cking Darkness and all that. But we digress.

Seriously Biebs, you’re playing with fire here. This is just begging for abuse from the metal community—and those dudes don’t play around. What kind of masochist are you?!

True, you didn’t use your semi-prepubescent voice to actually sing the beloved rock classic. And for that we’re grateful. But just the illusion of the lyrics emanating from your quasi-mustachioed lips is traumatic enough.

If anyone wants us, we’ll be listening to Rammstein and sobbing.

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